|
| Family drama, oh boy. And then some lies to cover it up so that no one will think everything is wrong, and so that she won't have to feel like a bad person. And guess who's stuck in the middle of it? Yeah, that's right. Me. But this time, I didn't even do anything. At all. Period. The end. I'm just here and I still get screwed xD Damn it all. It's all a big conspiracy, it really is.
<3 | | |
| I'm homesick xp
Mann, I wanna come home and see my friends...and go shopping...lmao, Kapeka knows! ^__^;;
<3 | | |
| So it's over, and I guess I wasn't worth it since he didn't call.
I don't really have anything to say anymore.
Just...meh.
<3 | | |
| I wish he couldn't talk, because everytime I try to end it and everytime I try to do something about this whole mess he just has to open his mouth and my anger melts. So, either he shouldn't be able to talk, or I need to learn how to be stronger...*runs off to look for some duct tape*...
Someone sent me a text last night that said, "I'm sorry hun...But you're going to have to let him go, either on your own or continue with the pain...Even though you say you're numb, I can feel otherwise." And she's right. Even if he's not lying to me about all of this stuff, it's just so...VIRGHOHGRIUH!! I need to just end this now, while I still have my sanity...and maybe if I leave him, it will give him the motivation to prove everything to me. Or maybe it won't. Maybe when it's over it will just be over...But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep trusting him, and then hearing something or seeing something and then hating him and wanting to break up with him, and then him talking to me and everything's okay...And then it just goes back around. It's just one big vicious cycle and I keep getting caught in the middle of it and I just can't keep doing this.
It's like, if he's not lying to me then why can't he just prove it to me? Is it really that hard? And he doesn't even call me back. He knows I'm upset and he can't call me back. I don't deserve this. But at the same time, honestly, I want to be able to put up with it. And actually, I can. I could handle all of this, I could keep seeing him and ignore everything that's been infront of my eyes the whole time as I've been doing for the past couple of months. But...no, I won't...'Cause I know it's not right...Just...iuhrugheriuhrghu!!!!
<3 | | |
| I am so tired. I want to sleeepppp. Sleepy sleep sleep. Sleepity sleep. Sleepy sleepy! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D
I'm in Washington right now, I'm going to be here until June 28. Then on June 28 we leave for Washington, where we shall be for a month until July 28. And let me tell you something; Jenny. Is. Home. Sick. Hardcore. >___<;;
I've only been here for like...less than a week, but I'm so home sick! Especially since I got sooo close to certain people and now I'm really missing them (yes, that's including you Kapeka!) I even miss my dad sooooo much ><;; And I miss *him* So he better not be flirting with that short girl that likes his dimples (btw, I think he said that she came around the other day, but I derno if he was joking...and Kapeka is probably the only one who knows what I'm talking about right now xD)
I've never been gone for this long before. Were gonna be gone for almost a month and 3 weeks! >_______<;; I'm such a baby, haha. Oh well.
I MISS YOU GUYS AND I LOOVVVEEEE YOOUUU!
:D
<3 | | |
|
